This year has been a year of doing things I usually don’t do. It has been stepping more out of my bounds and pushing the boundaries further. It has been a rollercoaster of ups and downs. But that’s life, no?
I won’t lie, my downs have been more “down” than I have experienced in quite some time. I have questioned a lot of what I have done. My resolve, my actions, my everything. I wondered if I was delusional. Along the way I was told a lot of things to pull me back together. I was reassured that some people appreciated what I did. I told myself I have no time to slow down or be sorry for anyone, including me. My first major goal in life is in reach.
In 2013 I will be serving in the internship I wanted to – at the state capitol of California. I came to Sacramento State for this one reason; that’s it. Not for anything else, but the internship that might put me where I want to be. When I finish my internship, I will graduate. I will accomplish the goal that seemed so impossible. I have spent nine years changing majors, and feeling like I am getting no where. There were times I thought I’d never be this close. But now it is here. I will be graduating. I can worry about graduation ceremonies and things that go into that; not classes for next semester, etc.
However, I have applied for graduate school. Hopefully I will get in to get my master’s (fairly quick I hope). We will see how 2013 goes. I will be finishing my term as KSSU Station Manager (maybe), as well as serving on the Board of Directors for Capital Public Radio. I will be a college graduate as well. 2013 has a lot to offer in the way of good. I hope that this relationship is what I’ve been looking for. So far so good. The true adult life is around the corner where I have to get a full time job, pay more bills, etc. I’m excited but not sure what to do. College has been my life. We will see what awaits for me outside. 2013 will be an even greater push out of my boundaries and into a world unknown. We will see if I am ready or not. Just the same, we will see if the world is ready for me. 2012 ended as well as it could have. Fairly according to plan. Hopefully one year from now, 2013 will end with me in a full time job or in grad school…or both.
All of this I wrote for me, moreso than you. However, I hope you find some insight from my life in how to live yours. My message, as it always is, is to live a life where you are happy. We can’t spend too much time wondering about the what if’s and whether we are doing the right things. Just do it. Act. Live. Every so often do what I did here and reflect on where you came from and where you like to be and see if you are accomplishing that. Good luck to you all. I hope nothing but the best for me, as well as you.
The second half of the year started with a bang. Only one of the four classes I was taking in the fall was necessary to graduate. The rest of the classes I felt would come in handy with life. I also got the KSSU Station Manager job too. As an outsider looking in, it doesn’t look so bad. However, there is a lot of work that goes unheard and unsung behind the scenes. Having the experience of interviewing potential DJs and interns has been an eye opening experience. I think my approach in applying for new jobs will be different given my experience.
The hardest part of the second half of the year was juggling working out, school, work, and my extracurricular activities outside of school (being an advisor for a youth group). I was being worn ragged by the many activities, many driving around, and little time for me. But I did it all for the experience and joy of life. It was challenging but I enjoyed NOT working late nights anymore.
Throughout the second half of the year I had the opportunity to interview Zion I, The Ascetic Junkies, and The Fontaine Classic. It was a great experience that gave me even more perspective on life and how to take care of things.
This second part of 2012 was definitely getting the experience of doing more things that I never thought I could do.
In late October, my girlfriend and I went our separate ways. For a second time this year I was at a loss of what to do. But this time, I had an idea of how to move on and move past it. Through concerted effort I did.
2012 wraps up with more interesting experiences with visits to the hospital as youths from my youth group went in for various accidents, to interesting experiences I had to deal with at the radio station as manager. And at the finish of it I am in my third relationship this year (third time is a charm?).
Stay tuned for Part III with my closing thoughts on 2012 and hopes for 2013.
So every year before Christmas I attempt, to the best of my abilities, to pause and reflect on the year that has come and past. This year is no different. In my life, things can be classified by iconic years for me. 2007 and 2009 were renaissance years where personality wise I have pushed myself to new heights. 2010 and 2012 would be years where I have accomplished more than I could ever imagine possible.
So 2012 had looked to be an extremely good year. I had been with my girlfreind of the time for a year, I had a new job on campus, and all was going well. School-wise, things were going well; almost at the finish line to graduate with just a few more semesters to go. Life was where I wanted it.
2012 started swimmingly with a trip to the emergency room, my first time ever. I had been bitten in the face by my girlfriend’s dog. It was an interesting experience that changed my outlook on things. It was from that point forward that my girlfriend at the time started to fade I think, now that I look back. Come March, her and I decided to go separate ways.
2012 became a bit more challenging because of that. I had a job that carried over from 2011. I was Safe Rides Assistant Coordinator at Sacramento State University. The late night driving was rough but I made it work. Still, with work and school, it became hard to focus. I felt lost after that.
Spring Break I spent at my brother’s house in San Francisco. That is what helped recharge me to tackle 2012. I started going to the gym thanks to him, and just getting out of the valley helped focus me. I had made amends with those who I was rude to during my relationship too – including an ex-girlfriend and a best friend of mine. My best friend and kept in good contact from there out and became gym buddies too.
The first half on 2012 was pretty solid. I rediscovered who I was, and gave myself more purpose. I was one year from graduating, and started dating my best friend. There was also a job opportunity to become manager of the radio station I volunteered for. I spent the rest of summer putting in my time in the radio station, and doing a few things here and there to have fun and relax. Life was good.
Part II to come soon…
“He who controls the past commands the future, He who commands the future, conquers the past.” -Kane, Command & Conquer series
For 2011, I had predicted I would become more busy with DJing. I didn’t think it be this much but the good vibes built from 2010 rolled into 2011. I made no prediction for school, but as always, you hope for the best, right? Financially, I knew I would be better off for some reason. I had wanted a different job…and a different job I got. It took six months of hunting and applying but I got a decent part time job. Read the rest of this entry
I learned a lot this year, and none of it came from school (Hah!). Many find it shameful that Trista and I were already talking just a day or two after I broke up with Liz, but quite honestly I’ve never been fond of “waiting” before you can “get back on the horse.” I took a day or two to clear my thoughts, clear my heart, and move on. That was all I needed. But quite honestly, Trista has made me feel like a kid again. You know that cute feeling? Where you have butterflies in your stomach and you feel like you are in middle school or early high school? You want to ask them out but you are too nervous to ask. You want to kiss them but you are afraid of somehow messing that up. That’s what I went through. This was a spectacular year. Everyone wishes to be young again; well I got it. Read the rest of this entry
“To look backward for a while is to refresh the eye, to restore it, and to render it the more fit for its prime function of looking forward.” -Margaret Fairless Barber, The Roadmender
Like the horoscopes some people read every day, I sort of predicted my year, last year. You can just read the very long 2010 entry to see some of the feelings I had about what this year might become. Very much so this year was not and did not feel necessarily as powerful and potent as 2010. As I mentioned before, this was almost based on the fact that nothing was necessarily “changing”. Last year had the physical transfer of me from one school to the next. That is enough to change much. This year, not as much change. Read the rest of this entry
“The wisest man is he who looks towards the ending of his journey, as well as to its beginning.”
There are a few things I look forward to about December. As a college student, I enjoy Winter Break – a month and a few weeks of lazy time, no homework, no tests, or anything else. Just me time. I, of course, look forward to getting and giving gifts, eating good food, and the other holiday related business. I also look forward to T.J.’s “Things That Need to Go” for the upcoming year. But my favorite part is doing my Year End Review, where I sit and reflect one me and what I have done or didn’t do. This is more incite on me than something tangible like other things I write, but I am doing this so just sit tight.
Historically, I have terrible memory. I use to forget what I had for dinner the night before, let alone what I did a few days ago and things like that. My mom use to criticize me a lot for it to the point that “I don’t remember” was not a valid excuse for her come middle school. So, to help I started writing. I have two completed journals sitting in my closet from 1998 until 2007. I took up blogging since then at various locales. I would like to think my memory has gotten better, and that part of the reason it is better is because I write out my life every so often, especially these year end reviews. Read the rest of this entry